


Laughing at Ourselves

by TheAlwaysUsedTeaBag



Series: Super in Love [7]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, History, Interviews, Light Angst, M/M, Superpowers, Therapy, not how therapy work irl, therapist, touchy subjects
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 09:09:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16741111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAlwaysUsedTeaBag/pseuds/TheAlwaysUsedTeaBag
Summary: Aaron and Alexander agreed to an Interview that starts a political shitstorm while John deals with his workaholic nature by getting help from a super who is also a therapist. Thanks to her, he gets a peek into his past that even he had forgotten about, and something that was hidden even from him is revealed.





	Laughing at Ourselves

**Author's Note:**

> Another entry in the series! Here to answer some questions, explore some history and lore, etc. Poor John too...

"Good evening, everybody and welcome to today's episode of 'Two Weeks From Now'. I'm your host Peggy Schuyler. Our topic today is highly controversial and debated just about everywhere, from schools to nationwide politics. I'm talking about, of course, supers. The media adores them while the politicians would rather see them dead. Thing is, these debates and discussions _about_ supers are usually held by _non_ -supers." The audience laughs. "Some compare this fact to how women's issues in the past were discussed by male politicians. As you know, though, I am not a super, and it would be hypocritical if I talked about this with any kind of authority on my own, which is why we have invited the local beloved hero duo to talk with us. Please give a warm welcome to: Mirror and Storm!" the host smiled happily and gestured to the side of the stage, from which Alexander and Aaron, clad in their costumes, walked over from to the sofa next to the armchair the host sat it. The audience clapped enthusiastically and cheered. Alexander sat down on the left side of the sofa and Aaron sat down to his right, keeping close. "Thank you for joining us."

"Thank you for inviting us! This is gonna be a first for us," Alexander smiled charmingly.

"And a first for this show! We haven't had a super on this show before, you see, no less two. Now, forgive me, but which one of you is Storm and which Mirror?" she asked and the audience laughed, "You look so similar."

"Well, that is the point," Aaron grinned.

"I'm Storm. I'm the older one, he's prettier," Alexander said, causing the audience and the host to laugh. Aaron feigned an unimpressed look at him. When the audience calmed down, Peggy began with the first question, though it was still a small talk question.

"Are you two related? I've always wondered, and I'm sure some of your fans have too. I've seen theories that say you're twins, so what's the truth?" she asked and Alexander shook his head.

"Not related," he answered.

"I just adopt his face and voice for battle," Aaron added.

"Good to know! Now, as I am no super, I couldn't talk on your behalf, so what is your opinion on the politicians' treatment of supers? For example, our vice president has gone on record stating," she looked to the screen behind them, clearly visible to the audience, where a clip began to play of the vice president in an interview.

"What do you think should be done with supers that refuse to wear repressor bracelets? More and more people have protested the use of such bracelets in the past month more than ever," the interviewer asked on the screen and the camera turned to the vice president.

"You see, I don't have anything against supers, per se. I just think that if they misuse their power, which happens rather more often than not, that they are a danger to the public. Repressor bracelets are the most humane way to ensure they do not become a danger and those that refuse them, so I believe, should be treated as dangerous, because they are if their powers aren't controlled," the vice president explained and the clip stopped there.

"What do you think of this?" Peggy asked them and Alexander frowned.

"Sorta off-topic first: I hate repressor bracelets, with a passion. And I do not agree with that man. See, the only reason a super's powers ever become dangerous is when it's A) the first time those powers manifest, because powers manifest early, and of course a child isn't immediately a master of their powers, B) discouraging the study of those powers by the super to learn how to deal with them and how to control them and C) the cases in which the super becomes a villain," Alexander explained and Aaron nodded.

"It's actually rather rare for a super to become a villain, statistically. Only one in five hundred supers even consider going down that path, and only two per cent of those actually commit to villainy, while the rest either becomes or considers to become a hero or just lives a life like anyone else," Aaron added and Peggy nodded.

"Where's that statistic from?" she asked and Alexander smiled.

"Several studies, actually. Let's see if I can name them. Uh, 'Villainous behaviour in supers from ages 5 to 50', by Eleanor Terry, I believe, then 'Occurrence of Villains from 1705 to present day (2022)' by... I think it was by Iqra Abbasi if I'm not mistaken..." Alexander pondered.

"You appear well educated in the field," Peggy remarked happily.

"You pick up a few things trying to defend yourself," Alexander replied.

"I can see that. Next one. You said you hate repressor bracelets, do you both share that opinion?" she continued and Aaron nodded.

"Repressor bracelets are... to put it mildly, not very comfortable. While those who produce them may claim they are very humane, I can assure you, it is not," Aaron said holding his wrists tightly in his lap.

"I take it both of you have had experience with them?" she asked, sympathetically.

"Mirror more than I do. I got my powers at the time when we were still hunted," Alexander explained.

"I got mine when the first prototypes of those bracelets were made, those that shock the super instead of repressing their powers. Every time I tried to use my powers, those bracelets would shock me, at one point I almost died because of the high voltage. I was six at the time." Aaron looked to his wrist, then up at Peggy, who looked rather shocked herself, then he smiled. The entire audience was quiet, silent gasps breaking the silence here and there.

"Six years old?" Peggy asked with wide eyes, "My god..."

"And even though one could argue these bracelets that are used now are more humane than those used back then, it does not mean they are actually humane," Aaron added. Peggy nodded.

"If I may ask, this is probably not something you like to talk about, what do repressor bracelets feel like?" she asked carefully. Alexander decided to answer this one.

"Like you can't breathe, at least not properly. It's like your mouth doesn't exist, and you've got a cold, so your nose is clogged, and you try to breathe like that. You get some air, but not the amount you need, it feels like you're slowly suffocating," Alexander explained. "Which is why I call BS on that guy," he pointed at the screen behind them, "Calling them humane."

"I can definitely see that... Now, the vice president also said that he believes this nation should not let supers go to the same school that non-supers go to-"

"That is literally segregation," Alexander noted, "I thought this country was over that," he snorted, "Guess not."

"If they would offer kids classes on how to properly control their powers, that would be the right step to take, but don't do full-on segregation, or you'll just teach kids to see a negative difference between supers and non-supers," Aaron stated confidently. Alexander smiled at him, liking that idea.

"That should be a thing, totally. I wish that had been a thing when I was a kid," Alexander grinned.

Peggy glanced between them with a professional smile.

"That's another thing, children today, super or not, do not learn about the rather recent history regarding the government's treatment of supers, which, so I learned only recently in preparation for this episode, is very bloody and extremely brutal. If their own parents aren't supers or are too uncomfortable to talk about it, children don't find out what happened to supers only thirty years ago," Peggy explained. "Do you think children should learn about this part of history, and at what age should they be taught this?"

"They should definitely," Alexander nodded immediately. "Absolutely, no questions asked."

"The age, however, is a bit more difficult, but I would say around the same age German children are taught about concentration camps and so on. So that would be around 14 to 16 years old if I'm not mistaken," Aaron nodded as well.

"I can already hear people saying that that's far too young to be learning about something so cruel," Peggy noted and Aaron nodded.

"It might sound the part, but you would be surprised at how well teenagers deal with learning that at their ages. Any later and they will not make a connection to the present, any younger and they may not deal well with it. But they should be taught this. It's history, and no matter how gruesome, it has to be passed on and dealt with by each new generation, or we run the risk of having it happen again," Alexander reasoned.

"Good point. Now, many of those who watch this show may not actually know about how the government once dealt with supers, and we need to fill our educational quota," laughter from the audience, "So I'd like to ask, if it's not too personal, one of you was born before the bracelets, would you be willing to share any personal stories about what happened to you?"

"That is really personal," Alexander said, "But for educational purposes... there's a lot of shit that happened. For example, I lived in the Caribbean, and when I was nine, a stupid amount of trained dogs were released that were trained to sniff out and attack any super they may find. It was called 'the Dog Policy'. I had run away from home at that point and had no way to hide from them. Well, now I can climb any wall and outrun any dog, so there's that. Well, and even inside a house, you would not have been safe. If the dogs barked at your house, the government official in charge of those dogs would set it on fire."

The audience was uncomfortably quiet.

"That is horrible," Peggy gasped. She had not been prepared for that, even with the research she and her team had done.

"At least now we're not actively killed anymore," Alexander shrugged with a smile.

"Even though there are still people who want that," Aaron snorted as though he had said something funny.

Alexander grinned at Aaron and shook his head. Peggy allowed for a moment of silence before she picked up the slack with the next point on her list.

"Now, the government has mostly accepted the presence of supers in our society, or that's what we're told. Do you two face any discrimination in your day to day life when you aren't in costume?" she asked.

"I don't," Aaron answered, "But that's because I make sure people don't know about my powers. It makes me uncomfortable."

"Which is fine," Alexander was quick to note, "I, personally, have faced discrimination, I'm registered. I actually worked for the government before, which I'm allowed to say because more than five years have passed since I quit. All records of me have been wiped from the system, and they've done a whole redo of every system, changing everything anyone may be able to use against them."

"Oh?" Peggy raised a brow, "Why did you quit?"

"Bad pay and I was not treated well. We figured it would be more profitable to work independently. So even working for the government, I was discriminated against by the government. I literally risked my life on every mission, and I was barely paid above minimum wage while my non-super co-workers were paid a lot more. I'm talking 5k a month next to my 1k, it's insane how underpaid I was for my work. This is why so few supers work for the government: it hardly pays enough to live." Alexander was careful about the things he was saying. He knew they would be picked apart by politicians the moment the episode aired.

"You said you were from the Caribbean, what were the differences between discrimination there versus here?"

"No dog policy, in cities at least. I hear smaller towns here had them too. I'm just glad I got to the city first and didn't bother with the small towns," Alexander explained casually.

"No matter how many times I hear this..." Aaron shook his head with a sigh and failed to elaborate on his point.

After a few more of the less depressing questions were asked and answered, and a few laughs were had, the interview was over.

"Well, that's all the time we got for this episode, unfortunately. I would have loved to hear more from you two, thank you for coming," Peggy smiled warmly at them and Aaron and Alexander got up.

"Thank you for having us, Peggy," Alexander shook Peggy's hand, then Aaron did the same.

A bit after, they left, and the same evening, the episode aired. Alexander and Aaron watched the episode together. They laughed at themselves on the screen, thinking they looked ridiculous on TV like that, all serious with no battle in sight. John joined them in the middle of the episode, looking through different tags on Twitter referencing the episode. He frowned here or there, though whether he was frowning at their answers on the TV or at what he was reading on twitter, neither Alexander nor Aaron could say for sure.

"The more I'm looking at this the more I think it might have been a mistake to accept this request," John sighed.

"Why's that?" Alexander asked, leaning over to look at the laptop on John's lap

"Well, I think you two just started a political shitstorm." John rubbed his eyes, he hadn't slept in two days, dammit.

"I didn't know so many people watch this show," Alexander hummed mildly surprised, but pleasantly so.

"Oh, no, they don't, you two singlehandedly raised the roof on their ratings. They're mad popular now, because of you two," John snorted, "But you also started a shitstorm, of the most political and also most politically incorrect nature. And I am sick of it. Positively sick of it! Have any of these people ever been to school? If I interpret these tweets right, then no!"

Aaron looked at John surprised. This outburst was unexpected and his look of surprise turned to concern soon.

"Is everything all right, John?" Aaron asked, "You look tired."

"Tired of your bullshit," John snapped. Alexander's head snapped to him in shocked surprise.

Aaron paused and nodded with a hum.

"Hm, well. You should go to bed," Aaron said, a commanding undertone lying beneath his voice in hiding, but John spotted it easily.

"Yeah right! After this shitstorm you two started, I won't sleep for another week!" John yelled.

"Okay, that's it," Aaron stood up, John glared at him from his spot on the couch in front of the TV. He shifted into another form, bigger and with many, many arms. He grabbed John, who yelped and started screaming at Aaron to let him go. John was used to Aaron shifting around him, he had become one of the few people Aaron became comfortable transforming around, but John had never before just been _grabbed_ by Aaron in one of his more terrifying forms.

He was carried through the base, through winding corridors that made his head spin as he was turned upside down. Alexander followed quietly, out of sheer curiosity, saying nothing to comment this what would usually be a rather unusual sort of view to anyone else but either of them.

Aaron, in his eldritch horror form, carried John to the room John had claimed as his own. He threw him onto the bed and stripped the room of every bit of technology in the very same breath. Alexander stood in the doorway, looking on curiously where this was going, though he could already rather safely guess. John looked between Alexander and Aaron's terrifying form in confusion, glaring at Aaron in particular.

"What are you doing!" John yelled angrily.

"Sleep now, dammit," Aaron replied. "We'll handle it for the next few days. There's a book you meant to read, isn't there? Well, consider yourself on vacation." And with this, Aaron left the room and slammed the door shut, locking it and setting the timer to open the door in two hours.

After this Aaron was left in a foul mood, trudging back into the living room where the episode of Two Weeks From Now had just ended. He picked up the laptop John had just left there (not willingly), shifted back into his usual form, and opened it, looking at what John had just been looking at. Meanwhile, Alexander had followed him back into the living room as well, arms crossed and a mild frown on his lips.

"I think what you just did was not entirely legal," Alexander remarked.

"I'm aware," Aaron hummed, "However, he needs a break, and you and I both know that he will not take it on his own. Not with how he was pushed to never take a break back when he still worked at the organisation."

"I mean, yeah... He lived in his office after all... You'd have thought he'd have... gotten unused to it after five years..." Alexander sat down beside Aaron, cuddling into his side. Aaron put an arm around him and they looked through twitter together.

"That's not really how that works, Alex," Aaron said softly. One may not even notice his foul mood if one did not know Aaron very well, but Alexander did.

"I know, just..."

"How to even help?" Aaron finished Alexander's thought, "Heck, if I knew... therapy maybe?" Aaron suggested.

"How would that go? 'Yes, hello, I used to be pressured into working 24/7 for more than ten years and now that I live in more tolerable conditions regarding that I force myself to work 24/7 for two superheroes, one of which used to be a villain'. Or what?" Alexander snorted.

"He can leave out the 'used to be a villain' part. I know someone. A super, actually," Aaron offered while scrolling through twitter and finding nothing of interest.

"A super? Civilian, Hero or villain?" Alexander asked. He was down for this idea of therapy for John if he wanted it.

"None of those. She's a neutral. She'll give her services to anyone who can pay her price. Fortunately, she owes me. Rather, she owes Mr Nobody," Aaron grinned. Alexander stared rather content at the screen where Aaron was still scrolling through Twitter.

After a moment, Alexander chuckled, "We did start a shitstorm, didn't we? Look, there's a gif of me!"

"This will be taken out of context at every convenience, I can already tell," Aaron grinned in return.

"That's the most fun part! HA!" Alexander laughed heartily, it was rather contagious and so Aaron joined in, "Being taken out of context is the most fun part!"

"That's because you don't take this much seriously," Aaron shrugged, he meant it playfully and Alexander knew this.

"And you take it far too seriously." Alexander leant up and kissed Aaron lovingly. They each smiled into the kiss, fully content at this point in their relationship, with each other and themselves as two parts of one whole.

 

John didn't know how to really enjoy his free time that had been forced upon him. He was holding the book he had meant to read in his hands, but he just couldn't concentrate at all on the words on the pages. He had had to reread the same sentence fifteen times already, he hadn't even passed the first sentence. He didn't even remember what book it was. He turned the book to see the cover. _Frankenstein_. Neat, he thought. He turned to the first page, trying to read it and comprehend what was going on in at least that one damn sentence. But the more he tried, the more he failed, and the more the words just jumbled and bled together into one ball of gibberish nonsense on the page.

He groaned at his failure and threw the book to the side. He felt anxious and jittery. He had this entire list of things in his head dictating what he still had to do. He had to check the computers, there was at least one program that needed fixing and seventeen that needed an update in code, the firewall updates needed to be done, look out for new villains and- he had so many things to do!

"Damn you!" he yelled at the door, meaning Aaron, "Damn you!"

An hour passed in jittery anxiety that kept building up the more he listed things in his head on what he was supposed to be doing this very moment. He had taken a far too long break looking through Twitter, and even that had been a thing on his to-do list and not for his own enjoyment. He walked his room up and down and up and down and up and down, like a panther kept into a cage that was far too small. He began to fidget after thirty minutes, glancing at the door every few minutes. He had things to do dammit, why would Aaron want to keep him from it.

A yawn escaped his lips and John blinked in surprise at this. He suddenly felt very tired. The coffee must have worn out, he realised with a start and a groan. Great, now he was jittery _and_ inefficient, even if Aaron were to let him out early, he would not be able to get anything done that he had planned to, and that fact just annoyed him to bits. The room was relatively dark, too, with a soft green glow to it coming from the lamp on the ceiling. It was pleasant and he had initially liked it when he had claimed the room as his own, but he rather disliked it now, now that it threatened to make him more tired and fall asleep easier. He sat down on the bed, glaring at the steel door, the most unfriendly looking door he had ever seen. His eyelids felt far too heavy, and he was dreading every millimetre that his eyes closed.

He had nightmares. He never remembered them when he woke. He only knew that every time he fell asleep, he would have those nightmares and wake up with a scream, a rapidly beating heart slapping against his ribcage from the inside, heaving lungs and sweat pooling at his forehead running down his face in glittering pearls.

But he could not fight it much longer, he fell asleep, living his nightmares anew, yet he would not remember them in the morning but a few details.

_Blinding light._

_Unbearable pain in his chest._

_A frantic beeping sound._

_Then, a constant sound._

He woke up with a headache. As always. His heart was hammering against his ribcage and he felt sick to the stomach like he would vomit any time now. He gasped for breath which did not come easily to him. With frantic eyes, he looked around and confirmed his location. He was in Aaron's former main base, which was now their team's main base. A sigh of relief crossed his lips and he pushed back his hair, his hand slick with sweat glistening. He looked to the side, there was something on the little table next to his bed, but it was too dark for him to see it. He turned on the lamp and found that a tray of food had been left on his nightstand with a note lying beside it.

_Aaron said you had a bit of an iron deficiency, so I got you some iron-rich foods and stuffs. We were also talking about we think might help you, but we wanted to do any further discussions with you present. Eat up :)_  
_Alex_

As John's heart finally calmed down, he took the plate from the tray and the fork and began eating, realising only then how hungry he was. It was just like Aaron to keep tabs on what was missing in John's diet, he did the same for Alexander as well. He ate quickly, almost choking a few times and his stomach complained greatly about the speed at which it was stuffed, and soon he had to stop himself before he threw everything up again. He got out of bed, his legs felt like cooked noodles, which was always the case after such a nightmare. Always the case. He was dizzy, a soft bit of fuzz was stuck in his head and he breathed and steadied himself against the cold steel door of his room. The cold of the door worked wonders on his heated head and the headache.

With a deep, calming breath, he exited his room and walked to the living room, pointedly ignoring his office. He was on forced vacation, and he feared Aaron would become angry and lock him into his room again, or maybe even lock him out entirely this time to get him away from work. He didn't like it, but he supposed he understood why Aaron took these measures. He also viewed them more as a friendly gesture instead. There in the living room, he found only Aaron. Alexander was nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Alexander?" he asked and Aaron looked up from his book.

"Out. Solo mission in the Caribbean. Came quite sudden," Aaron answered and looked back down to his book.

"He said you two were... talking about helping me? What with?" he asked further.

"Isn't it odd how we rarely ever abbreviate Alexander's name? It is only in the fewest moments where we call him Alex. See, even saying this nickname now somehow feels... inappropriate. Even though it would be more convenient to us, we keep calling him by his proper first name." Aaron rambled, decidedly ignoring John's question. This made John grumpy.

"What. With," he repeated sternly and Aaron sighed, finally putting his book down and gesturing for John to sit down as well, which he did.

"See, Alexander and I grew concerned about your... workaholic nature. In the beginning, when I had not done any research on you I thought it might have just been something you were taught in your early home, but it wasn't. No, it was the more than ten years working at the organisation. The former, I couldn't have found any help for. The latter, however, I could. Now, I thought we should wait for Alexander to return, but if you consent to it, we could do this earlier."

"Do what?" John was perplexed.

"I know a certain someone who may be able to help. Her name is... Kesera," Aaron answered.

"'Qué será'?" John asked.

"No. Kesera. She's a neutral super, and also a therapist of some sort," Aaron shook his head and John's eyes widened.

"A neutral?!" He had barely ever heard of those, but in his little experience, he did not think well on them. A neutral super may as well be a villain, in his mind, they did what they did for a price, for anyone who could pay that price. In a way, he had always admired how neutrals were so indiscriminating, but it still felt wrong to him.

"Yes. A neutral. Now, don't be like that. She owes me- rather, Mr Nobody, but he is inclined to give this favour owed, to you," he explained readily.

"And how would she be able to help?" John asked. He knew the way he worked posed a threat to his health, and by extension the health of everyone involved in his life, so he was willing to at least listen. At least, until his pride would be jabbed at.

"A rather... unusual form of therapy. A bit intimate, as well..." Aaron said and John knew he was just dancing around the issue.

"What are her powers."

"Don't tell her I phrased it like this because it's a gross underplaying of what it actually is, but, summed up: Telepathy/mind-reading," Aaron answered.

"No. No, I am not going to let some neutral lady poke around my head, that is too far! Much farther than I am willing to go!" John stood up abruptly.

"I understand that. Don't give me that look, I do. There are things we just cannot trust a stranger with. Which is why I would like you to meet her. Just that," Aaron nodded.

"Just... just that?" John asked and Aaron nodded again.

"Just that. She will not 'read your mind' unless asked to. Again, please don't tell her I phrased it like that, but I tend to forget the specifics. Rather, I have difficulties articulating them," Aaron admitted.

"That rather surprises me," John mused.

"Tends to surprise me as well, each time it comes up. Are you willing to meet her then, at the very least? Become acquainted and such. She is a therapist even outside her powers. Might even just help you like that, she could," Aaron chuckled, brushing his fingers over the hard cover of his book, "It's not too bad, I promise."

"I don't know what your promises mean to me," John admitted.

"Fair. They do mean a lot to Alexander, though. I've kept all my promises to him. Why should this promise be different."

"You love him, there's the difference. I know what you think of me, compared to Alexander." John seemed rather grumpy now that he turned the conversation into this direction.

"You don't know. I don't either, so how would you," Aaron challenged naively.

"Situation: based on your immediate, impulsive instinct, who would you safe from certain death?" John asked and Aaron scoffed.

"Is this your way of discerning whether I care about you or not? The only thing this would answer is whether I care more about Alexander than you, which is just not healthy to think about," Aaron shook his head but continued softer, "John, I do care about you. I care about your well-being both as your colleague and as your friend."

"You think of me as your friend?" John was honestly surprised by this.

"I certainly don't think of you as my enemy, in which case you would likely... not be a problem anyway..."

"That's your way saying that I would be dead, without actually saying it."

"How astute an observation. Now, we've been dancing around the subject, rather ungracefully, may I add: What is your answer? Are you willing to meet Kesera?"

"How do you even know her?" John gritted his teeth.

"I saved her life, by accident, and she told me all about herself. She owes me a favour. Now. Yes? Or no?" Aaron asked again, the tone of his voice indicating some finality.

John looked at him with a deep frown. A neutral. He was rather averse to those. They may as well be villains, he thought.

"John, I know exactly what you're thinking." Aaron's tone was that of a warning.

"And what is that?" John found himself in a strange mood to be stubbornly sassy and defiant, not a mood he found himself in that often.

"You're thinking that because she is a neutral that she may as well be a villain. Aren't I correct?" Aaron raised a brow in challenge.

"Well, she may as well be! Neutrals give their services to anyone who can pay the price, they give their services to villains! So she may as well be a villain!" He defended his opinion.

Aaron looked like he was on the verge of being offended and punctuated this with a scoff.

"And just who do you think stands right in front of you?" he asked pointedly, "Need I remind you, John, who I was? Did you not see, did you not witness with your own senses, what I have done in my past?"

"But you're not a villain anymore!" John declared, "There is a clear difference!"

"No. Kesera has never, in her entire life, even felt inclined to the path of villainy. She has also never felt inclined to the path of heroism. She has always been inclined to help, but she has always been inclined to help everyone. She isn't heroic, nor villainous, nor uncaring like a civilian. She is neutral. She is what I would strive to be, had I not promised Alexander. I would have hoped, John, that working with supers for a generous amount of time would make you less inclined to discriminate." Aaron was firm in his stance, firmer than John was in his own. Aaron's stern tone intimidated John, who backed down from the argument.

"Fine..." He admitted defeat.

"Then your answer is?" Aaron asked, growing impatient.

"Fine... Yes. Yes, fine, I'll go and see her. But if she starts poking around in my mind, I'm out of there!" He finally agreed and Aaron nodded.

"A more sensible concern, yes- Now, please get your jacket. It's a short enough distance for a walk there," Aaron said, getting up from the couch, leaving his book there, and heading for the main door. There was a bitterness in Aaron's voice that made John feel guilty.

John was hesitant, still reluctant to let go of his view on neutrals, but he knew there was no use on further thinking on it. He got his jacket and went to the main door where Aaron was waiting for him and they left together. It was a tensely quiet walk right up until they reached their destination. It was a small shop between a bookstore and an electronics shop. Aaron knocked on the door in an odd pattern that John wasn't sure he could imitate, and he was rather confused that Aaron knocked instead of just opening the door, as it was a shop after all with the opening sign illuminated.

A small woman came to the front door and opened it. She looked vaguely Asian, Korean, if John guessed right. He had once tried to learn the language, had really wanted to, but he had failed miserably and hated the memory to this day. The woman wore a black t-shirt, despite the cold weather, and equally black pants. She gestured for them to come inside, and they did. She closed the door behind them and turned around the opening sign, leading them into the backroom afterwards.

"I see Nobody has sent a lackey. Or what is this supposed to be?" the woman finally asked (John just assumed she was Kesera. Now that he thought about it, he was sure the name was not Korean and it still sounded vaguely Spanish).

"Something like that. Please, do not look into my mind, or his," he said and Kesera nodded, "Furthermore, this is John. Nobody decided he is in need of help and he would like to trade in the favour you owe him, to help John."

Kesera's attention was now fully on John and she ignored Aaron for the further proceedings.

"You must be something else if Nobody trades in my favour for yours. Be careful now, kid, Nobody doesn't just ask for little things in return for his help," she snickered.

"And you do?" John couldn't stop the bitter sentence from passing by his tongue. Kesera was not in the least surprised, nor offended.

"I like to think my prices are rather more affordable than his. Now, don't go telling him I said this, though. I'm sure he'll have my head for it and hang it onto the wall. Or send it to my family!" She smiled brightly, as though the concept excited her. It didn't, in truth, it deeply disturbed her, but she showed none of it.

"I'm sure he won't," John found himself saying. It surprised him too.

"Be that as it may, every risk is better than risking upsetting him. On the down low or not, his influence is far-reaching. What do you need help with anyway?" Kesera asked.

"Well... um..." It suddenly sounded so stupid and John found himself unable to say it. Kesera noticed this.

"Well, kid, I was told not to see for myself what's up, so you gotta tell me yourself," Kesera's voice was calm.

"There's... this issue... an entirely unhealthy issue..."

"I'm guessing workaholic," Kesera guessed.

"Hey! You-"

"Guessed. Just because I don't look through your noggin' myself doesn't mean I can't read people like you like an open book, kid. Now sit down. This won't be like your typical therapy, at all. I like to keep things friendly. Name's Kesera. You're John, I heard?" She sat down on the chair in the room and gestured for John to sit down on the other chair in front of her.

"I'll be taking this as my cue to leave then. Good luck, John. Thank you, Kesera, for your assistance," Aaron nodded and left after Kesera nodded at him as well, though she said nothing.

"Tell me, John, what exactly is the problem? I guessed you're a workaholic, but to warrant you seeking help from Mister Nobody... it must have been a real problem for you," she inquired.

"I've been neglecting my own health... to the point where I fear it will affect others..."

"And this is bad because?"

"Because I work in a job where my ability to react correctly is the difference between two or two thousand people dying."

Kesera nodded. "You want to be rid of this... habit then."

"Yes. People could die because of it, and I can't let that happen."John crossed his arms over his chest, feeling weirdly exposed.

"Do you think you can remember for me when this has started?" Kesera asked. John wasn't entirely sure. He hadn't exactly divided his life into pre-workaholic and post-workaholic.

"I don't think so," he answered truthfully and Kesera nodded.

"Has it always been like this?" she asked instead.

"No. I don't think it has..."

"When has it not been like this?" Kesera asked.

"When... It's weird. You'd think it would have been while I was in college, but it wasn't..." John grew perplexed.

"Afterwards, then?"

"I guess so... I worked at this one place, can't tell you what it is, but even then I wasn't like this..."

"And you changed from that to your current job?"

"No," John shook his head, thinking hard on it, "I worked for the government then... I... I lived in my office. I worked there for over ten years..."

"Lived in your office? Had you no other place to stay?"

"No, what for? It would have been a waste of money, and I had to stay alert or... people..." John was hit by realisation and so was Kesera, smiling at him.

"Or people may die," Kesera nodded.

"Stars, I lived at my work for over ten years!" John exclaimed, as if only realising this now, and, in a way, this was the case. He had never before really thought about it terribly much, and having it laid out to him like this made him feel entirely stupid.

"Far from healthy, so I heard," Kesera smiled and nodded. John looked up at her in surprise.

"Have you really not been reading my mind?" he asked. Kesera scoffed.

"I don't read minds, John. Now, the English language fails me in this one, but I do not read a mind. And I did not go looking through yours either. I respect my clients' wishes regarding that."

"What if... How would that work if..." John wondered but failed to elaborate his thought.

"If you allowed me now? Would you like to try?" she asked, her voice very soothing.

John thought about it, but he shook his head no. He didn't want someone he didn't know to be looking through his head, the mere thought made him feel uncomfortable.

"I don't think I want that... Maybe some other time..." he answered and Kesera nodded.

After this, John went to her quite often, every time he caught himself overworking himself, to be exact. Aaron also, occasionally, told him to go there, just because. And they saw some great results. John felt better already after the first two months of regularly going to Kesera. However, while regarding his work he got better, his nightmares seemed only to worsen over time, ripping him out of any restful sleep he should be having instead.

And one day, as John sat together with Kesera, he regarded her for a moment longer than usual.

"You look like something may be bothering you. Spill, what is it?" Kesera noticed his glancing immediately and John chuckled awkwardly.

"Well, I... I mean... There's... I have nightmares," he started slowly.

"Nightmares?" Kesera asked curiously, "What are they about?"

"That's just the thing. I never remember them. I mean, I remember little, tiny, bits and pieces, but they're always the same and..." he tried desperately to explain, but he felt like he failed at this.

"What are those things you do remember?" Kesera asked, writing something down on her notepad she always had nearby. Sometimes she seemed to procure it out of nowhere.

"They're... A blinding light, a pain in my chest, like my heart is being ripped out, frantic beeping, then followed by a long beep that just won't halt..." John tried his best to explain it and Kesera nodded.

"And what do you think do these things mean?" Kesera asked him and he shook his head.

"I have no clue, I wish I did, but nothing seems to be adding up at all! Which is... kind of why I'm here today..."

"Oh?" Kesera raised a brow, "Do tell."

"I... I wanted to ask you if you could... look into my dream... while I sleep..." John mumbled and Kesera's eyes widened in surprise.

"Are you sure about this, John? When you first came here you were rather adverse to the mere idea of me being in your head, rummaging around." Kesera put her notepad to the side in interest.

"I know just... The nightmares have become worse. I wake up sweating like hell, my heart hammering against my chest- I checked it, and had it checked, if this continues I might get heart problems, and I can't have that and... I'm in a panic every time I wake up from one, and I don't even know what they're about!" John exclaimed, "I just... I at least want to know what those dreams are..."

Kesera nodded and took his hands on her own, looking at him intently.

"All right. Listen to me, John, and answer accordingly. Do you consent, fully and entirely, to me looking into your head for the sole purpose to make you fall asleep and to view your nightmare?" she asked carefully.

"Yes," John answered.

"Do you consent to me recording in my notes, the contents of your nightmare for the purpose of medical analysis?"

"Yes," John nodded decisively.

"Good. Please lie down then," she said and lead John to the couch in the corner of the room and had him lie down on it. "Comfortable?" she asked then and John nodded. She put her hands to John's head and closed her eyes. John closed his eyes as well and felt a light pull at his consciousness, guiding him into sleep. Moments later, his nightmare began.

_John was screaming and thrashing around fearfully. There was a pain in his chest, beating and hammering. He was being held by two people, each holding one of his arms above his head. A third person now took ahold of his legs and he attempted to kick at them, whoever they were. He heard, in the distance, his father yelling._

_"Help him, dammit! Take that thing out of him!" his father yelled at someone else._

_John could make out the other person, finally. It looked like a surgeon of some sort, and John's eyes widened in fear. No, he didn't want this. He didn't want this!_

_The pain in his heart increased tenfold at his fear and he screamed. Despite the pain hammering away in his chest, he did not want it to leave. He knew there was something inside him that his father wanted to be removed at all costs, but John did not want it to. Desperately, he kicked at the person holding his legs and trashed violently to get free from the people restraining his arms. He was put on a steel table and restrained. He couldn't breathe. Repressor bracelets?_

_There was a bright light directly over him. His tears burned as they rushed down his cheeks at the pain. He could feel an incision being made in his chest, the pain was unbearable, they hadn't given him any narcotics to make it bearable, they worked cruelly on him. He screamed. He screamed and shrieked. The pain burned his cheeks in tears that felt like liquid fire on his skin. But no matter how much he cried, how much he screamed and shrieked and begged for them to stop, please stop, they wouldn't. They kept working on removing something from his chest, something he did not want them to remove._

_The pain in his heart burned and he felt like bursting at the seams. The light above him broke and shards of glass splattered everywhere, except on him. Then, everything was quiet, save for the frantic beeping of a heart monitor. Then, suddenly. Flatline._

John woke with a start, his breathing rapid, sweat running down his forehead in glistening pearls and his heart beating frantically, painfully, against his chest, like it wanted to escape from his body.

He looked beside him. Kesera's eyes were wide in shock and empathy.

"By all the stars," she gasped.

"What? What was it?" John asked. He had already forgotten.

"I can show you... do you wish to see that... again?" she asked carefully. John nodded after a moment of hesitation and Kesera stepped forward and put her hands to John's forehead.

In an instant, John relieved the nightmare, consciously this time, so that he may remember. Tears came forth from his eyes and spilt over his cheeks.

"Wh-what... what did they do?" he gasped, close to sobbing.

"I've only heard of that... I never thought it would be real... John... You were born a super..."

"What? But... I don't..."

"Your father... it looks like he paid for an experimental surgery... to have this trait removed... John, they replaced your heart..." Kesera was outraged by this, but she was careful not to show this to John. John was clearly distraught by this.

"But... but why?" he asked desperately.

"I can't begin to understand why your father would do this to you... he clearly forced it onto you... I'm sorry he did this to you, John..." Kesera took John's hand in comfort.

"But... why can't I remember? I mean... I feel like I was fourteen when that happened!"

"You likely repressed it. It was a rather traumatic event for you... It appears you were a bit of a late bloomer, not everyone has to manifest their powers at four to ten, it can come a bit later as well..." Keser explained.

"Oh, gods..." John put a hand to his mouth, tears streaming from his eyes. He fell into Kesera's arms, who hugged him and drew comforting circles onto his back.

"They couldn't take everything from you, though..." Kesera assured. "I felt something flee into your head, from your heart. Your powers, there's an aftertaste of them... Your powers were supposed to manifest in your heart... an understanding. You would have understood everything, emotionally based, by a mere look."

"What do you mean?" John asked.

"You could have looked at someone and instantly know, understand and feel whatever they are going through, emotionally. But... that understanding had fled from your heart... into your head. At least a bit of it... It's not enough to really be considered super... but you have an instinctual understanding of everything logical... You work with computers, right? You understand them like no one else does?" Kesera explained.

"Yeah, I... I do," John nodded, "I just... I was just always good with them..."

"That's that tiny bit that could flee your heart to your head before your heart was replaced by a non-super heart," Kesera continued, "I'm sorry, John..."

"I... never knew my father would ever... _could_ ever... do this... take something like _that_ away from me... That bastard..." John's desperate tone turned into a growl at the end.

"You must be terribly angry now, but please, try to remain calm, John... Look at me." Kesera commanded and John followed, looking at her. "Anger is not the solution to this. Now, if you are comfortable doing so, I want you to call your father when you get back home and confront him on the issue. Remain polite during the entire conversation. You won't have to see or hear from him ever again after this, but please try to find closure."

It baffled John only a bit how Kesera was able to find the exact words and tasks for him to do to feel better. Yes, he would call his father the moment he got home. He would confront him and then never talk to him ever again. He thanked Kesera for her time and ended the session there. He went home to Aaron's old base (he would forever refer to it as Aaron's old base, for as long as he lived) and immediately got out his phone, before remembering he did not have his father's number. He groaned at his forgetfulness.

Right that moment, Alexander and Aaron entered the living room and were rather surprised seeing John home so early from a session.

"Is everything all right?" Alexander asked, concerned.

"Yeah, I just... hey, Aaron, can you find out a number for me?" John asked and Aaron nodded, although he was slightly confused.

"Of course, I can. Who and why?" he asked.

"My father, Henry Laurens... I need to talk to him about something... see, I was... I should have been... a super..." John mumbled the last bit.

"A super?" Alexander gasped.

"Yeah, but my father forced me through an experimental surgery, and had the part causing it... removed..."John mumbled quietly, rubbing at the back of his head awkwardly. He really didn't want to talk about it.

Aaron seemed to notice his discomfort and put a hand on Alexander's shoulder, quieting him.

"I'll have the number in a few minutes," Aaron assured and pulled out his own phone, looking through his database with the name John had provided. And a minute later he had a match. He showed John the picture on his phone and John nodded.

"Yeah, that's him," John answered and Aaron nodded quietly, sending John the number and nudging Alexander to leave and to leave John alone.

John breathed in, steeling himself before he dialled the number and waited.

A few moments later, his father picked up.

"Lauren's here, who's there?" his father answered the phone. John tensed at hearing his voice.

"Hey, dad..." John mumbled.

"John?" his father sounded surprised, "I haven't heard of you in ages, my boy! What have you been doing?"

"Um... getting help for some things... I got a therapist now..."

"You don't need a therapist, there's nothing wrong with you!" Henry Laurens scoffed.

"Actually, there is, quite a bit. Workaholic and nightmares, but never mind that. I was actually calling because... well, kind of because of those nightmares... Because only recently I could remember them and... It was a repressed memory..." John grumbled. Henry Laurens was quiet for a moment.

"A memory?" he asked and John nodded.

"Mhm. A memory... Of a surgery... Dad, I was a super," John finally dropped it on his father, who he heard hiss.

"John, I only wanted what was best for you-"

"Well, why did you do it without my consent!" John couldn't help his volume rising, "I mean, I was supposed to be a super!"

"You would have been a danger to everyone, do you want that?" his father accused.

"I would have had an instinctual understanding of everyone's emotional state- how is that dangerous to anyone!" John scoffed.

"You don't know that's what your powers were-"

"I actually do know- because my therapist is a super, dad. She can read my mind, she felt exactly what my powers were supposed to be! Dad, you let them replace my _heart_! My heart! And you- Gods, you never thought about how this might have affected _me_ , did you!" Now it was John's time to sound accusing.

"John, you have to believe me, that thing in your heart would have killed you- you were screaming in pain!"

"You should have sent me to someplace that _helped_ supers, not _remove_ it entirely! No... you know what? Screw this. Dad, this is the last time, the very last time, you'll hear of me," John's voice dropped dangerously.

"No, John, my boy, please. I only wanted to help you. This will kill your mother-"

"And what about _you_?" John hissed. Henry Laurens remained quiet. "What. About. _You_."

"This isn't about me-"

"Then I don't care. This is the last time you'll hear of me. Don't try to contact me. I'll be too busy in my job with _supers_ , anyway." And with that, he hung up.

He sat down on the sofa, breathing heavily. He looked at his phone, where his father's number was still displayed. He sighed and blocked it and put the phone away, putting his head into his hands and he broke into tears. He sobbed hysterically, both with desperate sadness and distress, and unimaginable relief at the same time.

Aaron and Alexander watched this, quietly, from the side. neither of them felt comfortable intruding on this scene. John needed this, to cry. He felt a mountain being lifted from his heart at every tear that rolled down his cheeks.


End file.
